Are You Still Saying "I'm Lucky"? Time to Call B.S. on The 'Luck' Mindset Sister!

Why women downplay success, how the ‘I’m lucky’ script is a career-limiting move, and what it takes to start speaking like the f*cking rock star you already are.

Far too many women still say, “I’m lucky to be here,” when I want them to say, “I’ve earned this.” This Truth Bomb Times reveals how the ‘luck’ mindset damages women’s credibility, leadership presence, career growth, and what to say (and do) instead.

Truth Bomb: Today is the day to stop being obedient and start playing big.

This is for every ambitious woman who’s done the work and is ready to stop shrinking herself to fit patriarchal expectations. And this is also for every workplace manager who needs to stop rewarding women for being compliant and “low maintenance.” FTS!

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About Me

I’m the unapologetically fierce, quite sweary, globally sought-after architect of workplace gender equity. I’m the go-to strategist for businesses and sports organisations that are ready to stop talking and start doing gender equity right. When I’m not dismantling the bullshit that hold women leaders back, I’m enabling them to have careers that soar. I cofounded the Lead to Soar Network and wrote The Leadership Compass: The Ultimate Guide for Women Leaders to Reach Their Full Potential.

Truth Bomb: You Weren’t Lucky. You Were Ready.

Not long ago, I asked a very senior, brilliant woman how she’d landed a stretch role. Her response?

“Oh, I think I was just lucky.”

No, she wasn’t. She was bloody capable. She had delivered. She had earned it.

Like so many women, she’d learned to default to humility instead of strength. This is a survival instinct, but it keeps us women from being seen as credible, influential leaders.

Truth Bomb: Men say they earned it. Women say they got lucky, and thats patriarchal conditioning.

Tara Mohr Called It. And I Needed to Hear It.

My friend Kelly (actually, Kelly is my sister’s best friend, whom I stole for a while) had been chatting with me. After a while, she said she had a book for me.

Enter, Tara Mohr’s Playing Big. Kelly was right. In this book, I saw myself reflected back at me, page after page. Gulp.

I’d spent decades working my arse off, ticking all the boxes, climbing the corporate ladder, but I still hesitated to fully own my voice, my space, and my power.

Tara wrote:

“We can’t play big while playing by the rules designed to keep us small.”

That stopped me in my tracks.

There I was, a seasoned executive still running the “good girl” script, playing safe, and acting like a lucky little girl just to be let in. FFS.

Truth Bomb: That book was a mirror. And I didn’t like what I saw. Not one bit.

Downplaying Is a Survival Strategy, But It’s Costing Us

Women have been trained to:

• Deflect praise

• Minimise our contributions

• Frame success as luck or timing

“I was just in the right place at the right time.”

“They took a risk on me.”

“I’ve had some great mentors.”

Sure, those things might be true. But if they’re the only things you’re saying about your career wins, then you’re reinforcing the lie that your success is conditional. Or…. accidental!

Truth Bomb: Playing small might make you likeable. It will never make you powerful.

While women are repeatedly asked to prove themselves, men are promoted based on potential.

I accept the systemic gender dynamics at play here, but nothing changes if nothing changes. So we have to step up and change what we say and what we do or do not accept.

Name the Fear. Then Cast the Spell.

Let’s bring in a little Harry Potter magic here. (Yes, I know that the author has highly problematic views. Do not @ me! I love the books.)

You remember the boggart, the creature that takes the shape of your biggest fear?

The only way to disarm it is to name the thing, the fear.

To face it.

Then summon your Patronus and stand your ground.

Harry did it (albeit after fainting when he saw the Dementors), so we can too.

This is a perfect metaphor for dealing with the real fears behind “I’m just lucky.”

Because what’s underneath that phrase?

Fear.

Of being judged.

Of failing in public.

Of being seen as ambitious and having that used against us.

Of being rejected due to sexism, ageism, racism, homophobia … choose your horrible adventure.

Truth Bomb: If you don’t name what’s silencing you, you can’t reclaim your voice.

That’s precisely why I co-created the Lead to Soar Network.

It’s the real-world Room of Requirement. A fiercely feminist, professionally strategic, psychologically safe space for women to name their boggart, learn their Patronus, and start leading like they mean it.

We practise saying the hard stuff out loud and rewriting tired old scripts without waiting for permission.

WTF Do I Do Now?

You’ve stopped saying, “I’m lucky.” Good. Now what?

Truth Bomb: If you want to be seen as a credible leader, then speak like one.

Drop the deference.

Drop the gratitude script.

Drop the idea that being agreeable makes you promotable.

Say what you did.

Say what you delivered.

Say what it meant for the business.

Then stop talking.

When someone congratulates you? Try this:

“Thank you. I’m proud of the work I’ve done.”

Let it land. No disclaimers. No deflection. Just shoosh!!

BTW: Credibility isn’t just about what you say but also what you accept.

If you’re still being the one they call in to “fix it”, the reliable one, the agreeable one, the woman who’ll quietly carry the load, you might be being taken for granted.

That’s why Mel Butcher and I recorded the Lead to Soar episode Smart Trust and Setting Boundaries. It was inspired by “Jane,” a high-performing woman inside a matrixed mess who was scapegoated for a failing project she barely touched.

If you’ve ever been the fixer, the plug-the-gap person, who says yes because it feels strategic, but ends up invisible, blamed, or sidelined, this episode is for you.

Truth Bomb: High-performing women often get asked to fix things. Don’t be the hero. Be strategic.

In the episode, we break down how to lead without being compliant:

• Use the RACI framework to define your role before you start

• Set expectations in writing

• Ask: Is this actually strategic visibility, or am I being used?

• And if you’ve already said yes? It’s never too late to call a reset.

Trust is important, but blind trust is not leadership.

Truth Bomb: If your workplace rewards you for being compliant, low maintenance, and endlessly available, that’s exploitation dressed up as opportunity.

So wtf do you do now?

You lead.

You set boundaries.

You protect your power.

Playing big means being heard, respected, and never mistaken for lucky again.

What Workplaces Need to Do Better

If you’re a manager reading this, your job isn’t to wait until women prove they’re ready.

Your job is to fix the system that made them feel lucky to be there in the first place.

Because here’s what I still see way too often:

• Women are forced to tick every single box before promotion.

• Confidence is interpreted as arrogance.

• Self-advocacy is mistaken for attitude.

Any wonder why women don’t speak up?

Truth Bomb: If your workplace only rewards compliant women who play small, don’t expect the talented ones to stick around.

My Last Word (because I always have the last word)

I’m in my sixties. I’m still leading, still learning, and yes, still unlearning.

I didn’t get here by accident. I got here by showing up, speaking up, and working my arse off.

So if you’re still saying, “I’m just lucky”, I am calling bullshit and so should you.

You are not lucky. You are skilled. Strategic. Ready!

Say it. Own it.

Go Deeper: For Paid Subscribers

You’ve stopped saying you’re lucky. Now it’s time to get seen for the leader you truly are.

This section is your strategic toolkit—built for ambitious women who are done waiting, done shrinking, and done being obedient. You’re ready to stop being overlooked and start being known.

1. Listen to the Podcast

Smart Trust and Setting Boundaries

Mel Butcher and I talk about what to do when you’re being thrown under the bus—or asked to fix problems you didn’t create. We break down:

• The RACI framework (know your role before you say yes)

• Why women like “Jane” get scapegoated

• How to lead with clarity, boundaries, and a focus on outcomes

• The difference between strategic visibility and being used

Truth Bomb: If your boss calls you “low maintenance,” you’re probably being undervalued