Shining a Light on Disrespect: How Men Can End Workplace Misogyny
Why Ignoring Disrespect Fuels Violence Against Women—and What Leaders Must Do to Stop It
I want to bring to your attention the widespread issue of disrespect toward women in their workplaces. I am deeply concerned that far too often, I hear from women about their experiences in workplaces that range from uncomfortable to hostile.
When I hear stories from women about being disrespected, harassed, and mistreated in the workplace, I feel sadness, frustration, empathy, and anger upon learning of their experiences. These are just a few experiences I have learned about:
"Every time a group email goes out to the managers, it starts with 'hi, gents'. I'm one of a few women in management, and when I call it out, I am told I am overreacting."
or
"A man walked into reception and asked to speak to someone in charge. Upon finding out I was a woman, he responded, 'What? A woman makes the decision?' And he turned around and left before speaking to me."
or
"I was told I look 'hotter in person' at a work social event by a colleague."
or
"My manager told me I needed to learn to be more agreeable to get promoted."
or
"I had my ass-groped at a work social event by a stakeholder. Nothing was done about it."
When women tell me their stories, it is often because they have no confidence that their organisational leaders will take them seriously or that a complaint about disrespectful behaviour will harm their careers. No one wants the 'troublemaker' or 'whistleblower' label.
This means that organisations and their leaders are accomplices to disrespecting women.
Shine a Light on Disrespect
Women tell me about their workplace experiences of disrespect, harassment, discrimination, and violence because they trust me, want to shine a light on their experience, and want help navigating these situations. We also gain a great sense of solidarity with these shared experiences.
But it is not enough. It is time to shine a light on disrespect towards women because all violence against women starts with disrespect, and Australia has a problem with violence against women. As of December 2, 2024, 70 women have died due to femicide. SOURCE: Counting Dead Women Australia researchers of Destroy The Joint.
Shine the Light in the Right Place
For far too long, the spotlight has focused on women regarding gender equality, safety, and the experiences women endure in many workplaces. Like most women, my entire life has been focused on keeping safe:
Not walking alone at night.
Having keys in hand as a potential weapon against an attacker.
Learning from my Dad how to physically defend myself as a girl and young woman.
Using the block function on social media.
Men have NOT been taught, to the same extent, how to STOP being disrespectful to women. How to NOT attack women. How to NOT belittle and harass women. They haven't been expressly educated about what they must NOT do. The burden to be respected has always been on women. So, the light is shining on the wrong people.
It Starts With Men
As I write this, it is day 8 of the 16 Days of Activism against gender-based violence, an international campaign from November 25th, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, to December 10th, Human Rights Day. In Australia, Our Watch is the peak body for the prevention of violence against women, and their campaign this year is focusing on engaging men and boys in preventing violence against women.
Why? Because 95% of women and 93% of men who have experienced violence experienced it from a male perpetrator.
As an expert in workplace gender equality, I urge male leaders to stand against workplace disrespect. It's crucial that disrespectful behaviour towards women is identified and discussed and has consequences for perpetrators, enablers, and accomplices. Bad behaviour in the workplace can manifest in various ways:
Interrupting, talking over or ignoring women in face-to-face and virtual meetings
Assuming women, regardless of their role, will pick up the slack in tasks such as taking minutes, coffee runs, and tidying the office kitchen.
Implying women don't have the leadership skills to manage complex workplace situations
Making sexist or looks-based comments about women co-workers
Attempting to silence women or dismiss their viewpoints by not inviting them to meetings or leaving them off email chains.
Our Watch has a trove of resources to enable men to take action on gender inequality and gender-based violence (that includes disrespectful behaviour at work) and help them be 'upstanders ', individuals who actively work to prevent and address disrespectful behaviour.
Are you an accomplice to disrespect towards women at work?
If you stand by, ignore or fail to deal with disrespect towards women in your workplace, then your answer must be yes.
If your organisation has yet to go beyond a workplace Code of Conduct policy, a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policy at Work policy, then the answer is yes.
By becoming an ally to women, you can show men and others what not to do and how to intervene. Define good behaviour and demonstrate how to model and recognise it when it happens. Foster a culture of allyship towards women beyond a once-a-year celebration for International Women's Day (ugh!) Set a high standard for the organisation's treatment of women in the workplace.
Give all employees access to tools, techniques, and resources to become better educated about workplace gender equality. (I can help with that) Help them learn how debilitating gender inequality is for women. Publicly acknowledge systemically good behaviour by men towards women. Elevate and amplify women's voices in the organisation.
As the folks at Our Watch (rightly) say, doing nothing does harm, and it starts with men; it starts with you.
About Michelle Redfern
Michelle Redfern, founder of Advancing Women, is determined to achieve global gender equality by advancing women in business and sport. Understanding the social, organisational, and economic benefits of gender equality, Michelle diagnoses, designs and delivers gender equality strategies and implementation plans to businesses and sporting organisations. Michelle is an award-winning diversity expert who hosts and speaks at conferences, leadership forums and diversity events. Michelle is also a designer and facilitator of women’s leadership and strategic mentoring programs. She published her award-winning book, The Leadership Compass: The Ultimate Guide for Women Leaders to Reach Their Full Potential, in 2024.