When Love Wins: Our Story About Being in the Movement for Marriage Equality

I finally married the love of my life, and it took a whole country to make it happen.

Every Year, I Re-Write This. And I Always Will.

On Sunday, March 25th, 2018, I married Rhonda, my wife, my partner-in-crime, the love of my life. Every year on our anniversary, I sit down and rewrite this article. Why? Because this story matters. We should never stop telling the truth about hard-won equality and the need to protect it.

We were in our 18th year together when we finally got to say I do. Why bother after so long? After all, we’d built a rock-solid life. We didn’t need a piece of paper to prove anything. But here’s the blunt reality: until December 2017, that piece of paper wasn’t available to us. Our relationship’s legal status was null and void.

Why? Because we’re a same-sex couple.

Until 61% of Australians found their conscience and said YES in the marriage equality plebiscite, whether Rhonda and I could be ‘equal’ our love counted was up for public debate. Australians got to vote on whether I mattered, whether WE mattered.

It wasn't very respectful. It was infuriating. And it was dangerous. The campaign gave bigotry centre stage. Like many LGBTIQ+ Australians, I was angry, hurt, and at times, in absolute despair. And as much as I tried not to let it in, some of that shitty mud stuck.

But hope? Hope came from the tenacious, gutsy, relentless advocates who refused to give up. They fought, they agitated, they copped the slurs, and they kept going, and those advocates had been going for a long, long time. Because of them, history was made.

And so, on 25th March 2018, 17 years after we fell in love, 129 days after the YES vote, and 102 days after Rhonda asked me to marry her, I stood beside her and said, “I do.”

We are equal. We are included. We belong.

Every year, I retell this story because the fight isn’t over. Not by a long shot. Human rights, women’s rights, LGBTIQ rights are all still under attack. And let’s be absolutely bloody real: Australia isn’t immune. Religious organisations can still legally discriminate against LGBTQ+ students and staff. Conversion practices, yes, those barbaric attempts to ‘fix’ people like me, are still happening in parts of this country, despite legislation Z(albeit weak in some states) to outlaw the practice.

It’s 2025, FFS, and we’re still having these conversations. So, I’ll keep telling this story. Loudly. Relentlessly. Until none of us have to justify our existence ever again.

Progress isn’t permanent. It needs defending, loud voices, courage, and determination.

So here I am. Loud. Proud. Determined. Married. And still f*cking fighting.

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About Michelle Redfern

Michelle is the unapologetically fierce, slightly sweary, globally sought-after architect of workplace gender equality, diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI). She’s the go-to strategist for businesses and sports organisations ready to stop talking and start doing DEI right. When she’s not dismantling barriers for women leaders, Michelle is busy enabling them to have careers that soar!

Author of The Leadership Compass: The Ultimate Guide for Women Leaders to Reach Their Full Potential (yes, it’s a must-read) and mastermind behind The Advancing Women in Sport Report Series, Michelle also moonlights as a seasoned non-executive director.

Michelle also shares her wisdom in her fearless, frank and forthright way on LinkedIn. Go on, connect.